Motherhood

How do you know when you’re ready for another child?

How do you know if you're ready for another child

When my husband and I started talking and marriage and babies, we always envisioned multiple children. I’m from a family of 5 kids and he’s from a family of 3 so it seemed natural that we would have several of our own kiddos. Fast forward a few years, couple of miscarriages and thankfully one healthy pregnancy later, we now have our sweet daughter. She’s 18 months and per our original ‘timeline’ of spacing kids out every 2 years we are already behind since I’m not currently pregnant. (And yes back then we thought we could plan these types of things, haha nope!) But I find myself wondering, how do you know when you’re ready to have another?

I suppose it’s different for everyone. Some women might feel the pull and urge to have another baby while others might approach it in a more practical matter. I find myself leaning toward the latter. When I think back on the newborn days, it really does overwhelm me having to do it all over again. However, I realize that the experience will be completely different now that I have a bit of parenting experience under my belt.

Instead, I think of the future. Of the secrets Amelia might share with her sister or brother. Of the fights they’ll have, the laughs they’ll share. All the fun and fighting that goes along with having a sibling. Growing up with so many siblings was crazy at times, but we all remain super close to this day and I can’t imagine my life without them in it. I’d love for my daughter to have that kind of experience as well.

For now, it hasn’t worked out for us to add another member of our family just yet. After an unexpected pregnancy and then another unfortunate miscarriage when our daughter was about 10 months, we’ve decided to take it day by day. I’m not going to lie, after having three miscarriages I know very well that a positive pregnancy test doesn’t necessarily equal a baby. So I think part of my hesitation also rests on having to go through the anxiety of pregnancy as well. But I know I can’t let fear deter me.

Many of my close girlfriends are pregnant right now (including one who is expecting twins!) so babies are definitely on my mind. I continue to go back and forth about knowing for sure if I’m ready for another but I figure just like when deciding to have our first, you’re never sure sure. You just go for it and figure it out as you go along.

For all you mamas out there, did you know for certain when you were ready for another? Or did you wing it so to speak? I’d love to hear your experiences!

 

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2 Comments

  • Reply Mila November 13, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Love your blog Kasia it’s really good!! And of course I can totally relate on so many of these posts with our girls being just days apart! We had similar struggles with our first with it taking a year and a half so I knew planning was not an option with #2, so definitely winged it, knowing we wanted more than 1 at some point. It came much faster than we ever expected and besides finding out really really late, I was in denial for a very long time, for the exact reason you stated. Why get excited if it might not actually happen, since I’ve been through the disappointments in the past. And then after a while I was in shock and horror of “I’m not ready for this!” I definitely still am a little bit and probably will be for a while, but have finally let myself get excited. Focus on your beautiful baby girl and it will happen when it’s meant to be <3

    • Reply Kasia November 14, 2017 at 12:02 am

      Thanks so much dear! Means so much to me that you’re reading <3 Congrats on number 2!! I agree, winging it is really the best option :) I'm glad you're letting yourself get excited, I know it can be hard when things haven't worked out in the past but my dad always told me to "cautiously optimistic" so that's been my motto. Guess I'll remain cautiously optimistic about our family growing as well and it will definitely happen when it's meant to. Congrats again so excited for you guys!!

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