The Motherland
Motherhood Personal

Thoughts on second time parenthood

It’s been just about two weeks since we welcomed our second bundle of joy into our lives and part of me is still in awe that I’m a mom of two children, while part of me feels like she’s been with us forever. It’s definitely been a bit of a learning curve, juggling the needs of one tiny babe and one slightly bigger but still very much small child who is in need of my attention.

I think the biggest changes have been both in me as a mother but also in getting to know this brand new baby. In the hospital, I kept saying things like “with my older daughter I did this,” only to be stopped by the nurses and reminded that this a totally different baby with different needs. I’ve found that to be oh so true. Thus far, my girls are so different. My older daughter had reflux and had trouble sleeping during the day while Lucyna is a dream newborn so far, eating and sleeping without any issues. My milk came in faster this time around so I’m sure that helped and she is a much more efficient eater. I know that infants go through many stages and phases so I anticipate this sleepy newborn period to end at some point but I am enjoying the extra rest because I definitely need it for my bundle of energy toddler!

I’ve also found that the physical recovery from birth is going much quicker this time around than last time. Maybe by necessity because I have to remain present for my older child or some form of muscle memory, either way I’m grateful to be feeling much better! Of course, I’m still trying to take it easy and allow my body to recover (birth is no joke!) but I’m definitely feeling much more like myself much sooner than I did after giving birth to my older daughter.

The other awesome thing is the confidence I have as a mom. Sure, there’s still a learning curve because every child is indeed different, but I’m so much more relaxed this time around. I’m not jotting down every feeding or anxiously Googling every little thing. Instead, I’m trying to take a more calm and carefree approach and really just soak in these precious newborn days. I’m definitely no parenting expert (does that even exist?!) but having been a mama for the past 2+ years has given me some assurance in how I parent my newborn.

All in all, I’d say the most difficult aspect of going from one to two kids is trying to divide my attention between the two of them. Obviously, my newborn’s needs are a bit more pressing but that doesn’t mean I can ignore the needs of my toddler. She’s shown some jealousy toward her sister and often when she’s upset and wants me she cries and asks me to “put down the baby and hold her” so it’s something that we are still trying to get a handle on. Of course, her world has shifted the most and I’m trying to remain sensitive to that while also trying to teach her that she is indeed older and has to learn to share mine and my husband’s time and attention with her sister.

My biggest oh shit moment came on day four, the first full day I would be alone with the two of them. I was paralyzed with fear with how I would juggle it, but like all of parenthood thus far, you just do what you have to do honestly. Let’s just say my older daughter got to watch a lot more TV than usual but hey we survived 🙂 My cousin is now here to help me and it of course is so much easier with an extra set of hands but I know once she leaves I’ll once again have to find that balance.

I still look around and can’t believe that I’m a mom of TWO kids. It seems both surreal but also completely natural. The biggest thing that everyone told me will happen and now I feel silly for having worried about at all, is the love I have for my second child. Just like with my first, that love was instant and now I can’t imagine my world without her and her sister in it. ♡ ♡ I’m sure I’ll endure many more tough moments but so far I’m grateful for every second and just winging it while we figure out our new family dynamic.

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